Early warning signs of a narcissist
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At the beginning of April this year, I was tapped by the Huffington Post Live team for a discussion on narcissism. I happily agreed to appear.
1. Love Bombing/Mirroring Oh my god. This is it! This is what you've been waiting for! So much in common it's uncanny. Amazing sexual chemistry. Lots of.
This is another way he starts to weave that web of control very early in the relationship; what first appears to be the loving desire to be together is really just his need to control every aspect of your life. He uses his anger and your fear of being alone as a way to control your time. This can lead to him isolating you entirely from others in the future. Be careful. This can also lend a glimpse into the future. Do you want to have kids with this guy?
If you already have kids, do you want him to be parenting them? How would you feel if he criticized your mother or your best friend this way? Things to consider — they will happen if you stick around with a narcissist.
She might not even bat an eyelash at it, or she might playfully jab him back. Speaking of which, on to the next point. He might say she cheated or that she verbally abused him. He might say she hit him or she emotionally tormented him.
11 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist — and How to Deal with Them
Or that she was very, very stupid. So he wins — he sets you up to try to start conforming yourself to his desires.
This is another way he begins to take control of you. A narcissist often has a great sob story to tell, or several. Maybe his parents died when he was young, or his ex cheated on him. Whatever the story is, you probably heard it on or around your first date.
5 Early Warning Signs You're With a Narcissist | Psychology Today
Instead, because of how keen the narcissist comes across, and how well they believe they have come to know them, the victim foregoes these usual reality checks. Suddenly, and almost beyond the control of the victim, a narcissist has succeeded in turning the initial few dates into a serious, full-blooded, intensely physical and emotional relationship.
They have blinded their unfortunate partner with lies, false praise, feelings that never existed, and tales of a happy and fruitful future together. Love Bombing After A Break-up This tactic is not only used by narcissists during the initial part of a relationship; it is also common after a break-up. While the separation might have involved a great deal of spiteful and vitriolic behavior, when a narcissist is determined to renew a relationship, they will once again turn on the charm and utilize love bombing to win back their ex.
The approach will not change a great deal — bombardments of texts, calls, letters, emails, social media messages, and any other forms of communication they can think of. They will profess their undying love for their victim and claim everything that has happened should not deny the destiny of the relationship — that it was a mere blip on the path that they are meant to walk together. All of this is designed to cloud the situation with doubt and confusion, to make the victim reconsider their decision and take their partner back.
At its heart, love bombing is a fairly blunt instrument with little in the way of finesse and craft. It uses brute force and persistence to achieve its aim, but this is also its chief flaw; it can be fairly easy to spot once you know what to look out for.
Hopefully this article has given you the knowledge you need to identify the signs and distance yourself from a narcissist before they are able to manipulate you into a relationship.
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